Homestuck Questions of the Day

If Karkat had a gun he'd be too powerful. Keep that boy away from long-range weapons.

What if Kankri was run over by a train?

If Kankri got ran over by a train, I would legit just laugh.

that would be so cool

Which kid would most likely own a Nokia 3310?

What if Bec was a fish?

[S] Jade: Enter

Bro, Davesprite and Jack are all at a standstill atop the remaining land not still burning on LOWAS. Suddenly, Jack hunches over, a shock corsing through his entire body--one Bro and Davesprite cannot see, but can somehow feel themselves, as if it passed to them like a lightning bolt jutting out at nearby metal from its capturing rod. The sword in Jack's chest suddenly disappears. Then, strangely, so do his wings. And then, his mouth. It begins morphing into a small but grotesque, big-lipped scowl. His entire head begins violently shifting and reshaping like puddy. His eye scatter to the far sides of his head. Gills protrude from his chin. His hard, onyx carapace appears to flake and open at every angle, like fluttering scales.

More concerningly, the silhouette-like agent's entire body, for moment, flashes an eye-searingly bright neon green. Then back to black, and then green again--like a flashing traffic light. Without moving any part of his body, Jack stutters, flickers and seems to rapidly convulse. Sparks and crackles of lightning course around him as he fades in and out of reality, as if he's been dislodged from it partially. Suddenly, it all stops, and Jack is left a new man with a new face. His sword suddenly rematerializes in his hand as he stands up. The entire world seems to violently pound in and out of existence around the non-temporally connected, paradoxically-related Strider brothers as they stare down this suddenly unfamiliar sea-beast. Jack Noir has gotten an upgrade. His ring now contains the essence of Bec, the FIRST GUARDIAN OF THE KNOWN UNIVERSE, and Jade Harley's PET FISH.

Jack suddenly collapses again, now sputtering around on the floor. He drops his sword and begins suffocating due to a lack of water. He dies approximately a minute later, with Bro and Davesprite simply standing there and watching, unsure of what to do but definitely not going to help him. Homestuck ends. Credits roll.

jish from noxyquest reference...

How would Dirk react if he found out unicorns shat ice cream?

Which kid would most likely throw Kana from Fire Emblem out a window?