This will function similarly to the MSPFA Discord Adventure Reviews thread. If you're not familiar, you leave your adventure link up (at least 50 pages are required), and others read it and give you constructive criticism. If you're not looking for that, this is not the thread for you, sorry.
I don't currently have an adventure up, but if you're looking for something to review right out of the bat, feel free to check out Gamma Session. It never quite got off the ground due to me not having planned out any of its late game and reusing a lot of Homestuck story elements to the point of excess, but I would be happy to get anything extra from it as well. https://mspfa.com/?s=62211&p=1
i havent updated in a minute, but here's my sleuthlike. https://mspfa.com/?s=50949&p=1 i'm a big fan of Maximal Bullshit in these sorts of things.
Oh this is a nice thread to have!
Just make sure to keep critism constructive! If anyone is just being mean please report it!
I'm a person... Probably.
RE:Myself
*Criticism
I'm a person... Probably.
RE:meat I commented on the last page of your adventure, but here's a mirror in case you happen to see this thread again:
"First of all, can we talk about how fantastic this adventure concept is? Since it's a flipjam entry, I assume it was based on the theme, and honestly that is an amazing stroke of genius. Having multiple timelines display and be controlled at once is such a fun idea, especially with shared inventory encouraging messing around with doomed timelines and causing schasms. The global mechanics also add a lot of depth here. Totally up a fan-adventure's alley.
I really like the humor and writing of this, it's very Sleuth-like and I think it's nice. Besides some syntax errors here and there, it's all good. I'm not experienced with early MSPA art but I think that's also very accurate.
My only strong complaint is the vertically stacked text gets a little hard to connect to their panels sometimes. I would personally line them up interchangably, but it doesn't take away from the experience.
You should update this again sometime!"
thanks a heap! i've been experimenting with mspfa formats for years now and this is easily the one i'm proudest of. i definitely agree that the stacked text is a little awkward, but i think alternating them would mess with the full form of the thing--the final intent is to have 9 simultaneous timelines! so the fully stacked grid is very important in that regard. also, i actually came up with it before the flipjam started! the idea for it was part of the reason i chose that prompt for the flipjam that year LOL. i started and ran the flipjam until just this year!
RE: syntax errors, do you remember where those were? i feel like ive given it countless proofing passes but i'm always missing stuff.
Hi! :D
https://mspfa.com/?s=64029&p=1
My MSPFA is only just over 50 pages and only just starting out. I'm trying to make it the best i can so I'd appreciate some criticism
