Homestuck.com re-launch megathread!

im absolutely loving seeing what new readers think. i lovee lily mike and eden their designs are so cute :D +and for those uninitiated theres two channels in the official homestuck discord devoted to new people and since they havent seen any of the beta kids except john outside of pesterchum yet, they just made their own. its so wonderful

Some people are likely to be confused when there isn't a next page link. It may be helpful to tell people about the rerelease and direct them to the Discord when they get to the "end".

Here is someone who was confused by that:

https://www.reddit.com/r/homestuck/comments/1ng9y86/i_cant_read_any_more_theres_no_way_to_progress/

I am one of the people who was confused when there was no next page link. (Even more so, since an update rolled out while I was trying to figure out what was going on.)

Also fwiw, the discord is set up to require a phone number. I appreciate having a forum that doesn't require that.

i remember reading Homestuck back in the day but never progressed past Act 2, and then when i wanted to get back to it the site was already broken lmao. glad to be able to read it in its intended form. by the way does anyone know at what time exactly do the updates come out?

@Hollow They should update every weekday! It said so on HS socials. Buuut I don’t know at which hour rip

the newgens kid designs and names are so cute. i love lily, mike, and eden. I also love that since Rose was revealed today, the newgens just started drawing art shipping rose and lily. i love it. their theories are great, too

Bard quest isn't there, so I don't careeeeeeeee.....

I'm hoping they batch-serialise the other adventures after Homestuck is done. Can you imagine everyone getting into Problem Sleuth?!

In lieu of a better place to post this, I'll list some typos in the aria description of flashes and alt text of images:

https://www.homestuck.com/002044

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The SELECT cursor exits the range of a red circle in attempt to reach the items, and the screen flashes red.

--8<---------------cut here---------------end--------------->8---

FIX: in an attempt

https://www.homestuck.com/002077

--8<---------------cut here---------------start------------->8---

A glowing orb with a spirograph emblem inside of it float out of the CRUXTRUDER.

--8<---------------cut here---------------end--------------->8---

FIX: floats

https://www.homestuck.com/002114

--8<---------------cut here---------------start------------->8---

A young lady stands in her bedroom. She has makeup, a hairband, and a purple cthulu logo on her shirt.

--8<---------------cut here---------------end--------------->8---

FIX: Cthulu (capital letter)

https://www.homestuck.com/002117

FIX: Cthulu (capital letter)

https://www.homestuck.com/002126

--8<---------------cut here---------------start------------->8---

You captchalogue the LAPTOP, and its card is pushed above other two cards.

--8<---------------cut here---------------end--------------->8---

FIX: above the other

https://www.homestuck.com/002149

--8<---------------cut here---------------start------------->8---

Sburb Beta Walkthrough, Version 1.0, April 13th, 2009, by tentacleTherapist. Table of Contents: 1, Caveats and Condolences (0000). 2, Walkthrough (Incomplete) (A000).

0000: Caveats and Condolences.

I'd be inclied to dispense with the trie even under less pressing circumstances. Needless to say I'll forego the inscrutable ASCII banner which typically heralds the striking freefall of these documents. I'll also resist the urge to brandish any copyright marks, or the particular neurosis that concerns itself with the theft of the utterly mundane -- I'll allow other deranged prospectors to stake claims on their worthless plots as the woods burn around them. My introduction will be sparse. There will be no majestic prose blustering into the sails of a galleon as we embark on this voyage together. Nor will there be any hamfisted prose whipping its limbs under a bedsheet like a retarded ghost, for that matter. I won't set the stage, or dim the lights. The mood, you will see, will be set soon enough.

Since you are reading this, chances are you have installed this game on your computer already. If this is true, like many others, you have just participated in bringing about the end of the world.

But don't beat yourself up about it. There was never anything you could have done to prevent it. The end is happening right now, as I type, and as you read. I have come to understand that we were always doomed through our collective ignorance, and now further doomed by those few who know, and struggle to flee. If you're lucky, you'll be among the smaller subset of the latter who are successful.

What I mean is, while that game you installed is just one more grinding slab of rock sealing our planet's crypt, it is also your only hope to live. I'm presently faced with the same conundrum as you, and though I speak with more experience, my own outcome is far from assured. I will 'play the game', as much of it as there is to play, and record my findings here. If you want to live, you will do as I instruct.

My condolences.

~TT

--8<---------------cut here---------------end--------------->8---

FIX: "inclined", "trite"

https://www.homestuck.com/002208

--8<---------------cut here---------------start------------->8---

Rose is standing outside the observatory when the screen flashes. OH PSYCHE! The scene reveals some kid with shades and a CD emblem on his shirt standing by a bunch of katanas and a turntable.

--8<---------------cut here---------------end--------------->8---

FIX: CD -> record

https://www.homestuck.com/002212

--8<---------------cut here---------------start------------->8---

Wires are strewn across his floor. His bedroom tables are board propped up by cylinder blocks. Beat machines and turntables are plugged in everywhere.

--8<---------------cut here---------------end--------------->8---

FIX: boards

https://www.homestuck.com/002225

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You open the HAPHAESTUS web browser and up 'sweet bro's hella blog.' review of gamebro's march issue. oh man. when this heady volume of unabridged awesome hit my doorstep it made a sort of thunderclap, like the kind i'm sure moses heard when god dropped stone tablets containing a review of a game involving the ambiguous marriage of insane stunts and extreme hunger management solutions for dudes on the go. it's like you see that little bag of chips there? you just grab it and go bro, and keep thrashing shit up. i am so 'hella pumped of' this. there are some obvious questions. like just HOW outrageous are these snacks? will popular beverages play a role, and how critical will they be in your quest to attain absolute sweetness? Will this game land the coveted but elusive 5 hats out of 5 hats?

--8<---------------cut here---------------end--------------->8---

FIX: web browser and bring up the

I'm genuinely enjoying that there's so much attention on Homestuck right now<3<3<3<3

New update typos:

https://www.homestuck.com/002263

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Rose stands by the large cthulu-shaped doll on the couch, which is dressed in a princess outfit.

--8<---------------cut here---------------end--------------->8---

FIX: Cthulu

https://www.homestuck.com/002267

--8<---------------cut here---------------start------------->8---

The word 'shrew' is spelled out on the refridgerator door.

--8<---------------cut here---------------end--------------->8---

FIX: refrigerator

https://www.homestuck.com/002268

https://www.homestuck.com/002269

--8<---------------cut here---------------start------------->8---

A pack of W's sit beneath the word. Beneath it, a letter is magnetized to the door, though there's not enough space between the W's and the floor.

--8<---------------cut here---------------end--------------->8---

FIX: "letter" is ambiguous; instead use "note", perhaps?

https://www.homestuck.com/002288

--8<---------------cut here---------------start------------->8---

Rose is stopped by her mother. Strife! The minigame provides four options: AGGRIEVE, AGGRESS, ABJURE, and ABSTAIN. AGGRIEVE causes Rose to attack with her knitting needles. AGGRESS causes Rose to jump towards her mother with the needles for a 'stabbing in the eyes' move, but instead runs towards an electric socket and makes an empty suicide threat of sticking said needles into said sockets. ABJURE causes a beautiful pony to arrive, to Rose's dismay. ABSTAIN causes Rose to defend against her mother's jabs of her wine glass.

--8<---------------cut here---------------end--------------->8---

FIX: "AGGRESS causes Rose to jump towards her mother with the needles for a 'stabbing in the eyes' move, but then turn and run towards an electric socket to make an empty suicide threat by sticking said needles into said socket."

It's kind of an awkward sentence in general, though...

https://www.homestuck.com/002291

--8<---------------cut here---------------start------------->8---

John has cracked open DATA STRUCTURES for ASSHOLES. Chapter 7: God Damn It, Why Do I Even Bother?

The good news: finally your revolting incompetence can be put to use. Instead of accidentally firing a sylladex full of steak knives into a priceless oil painting or your beloved great aunt, you can turn that fumbling fury toward one of your foes, such as the ability ot grasp painfully simple concepts. The bad news: I'm tired of explaining myself hoarse to you jibbering fuckwads. In this chapter I will be phoning it in with the liberal use of diagrams and shitty clip art. What are you going to do about it? You are going to wriggle in your own viscous secretions like the worms you are. That's what. Here. Learn something for a change.

The book shows a diagram of an item being captchalogued into a QUEUE MODUS, launching a brick out of the other end of the queue. ASSHOLE NOTES: Purse your lips together to form a stiff pucker. Apply them firmly to my rear end. I now pronounce you man and wife. Now get in the kitchen and make my ass some dinner, bitch.

--8<---------------cut here---------------end--------------->8---

FIX: "ability ot grasp" -> "ability to grasp"

https://www.homestuck.com/002297

--8<---------------cut here---------------start------------->8---

A flash game allows you to walk around and beat the SHALE IMP with the sledgehammer handle. After a few hits, it fights back, causing John to lose some help and fall over in pain.

--8<---------------cut here---------------end--------------->8---

FIX: lose some health

https://www.homestuck.com/002323

--8<---------------cut here---------------start------------->8---

The camera dives into the light, revealing a chessboard, surrounding by clouds and sky. Two king pieces chase each other around the board.

--8<---------------cut here---------------end--------------->8---

FIX: surrounding -> surrounded

https://www.homestuck.com/002340

--8<---------------cut here---------------start------------->8---

B100: The Long and Short. The Medium Too.

I may have been a bit hasty in advising you not to bother with the prototyping process. If I spared any detail, it was only to optimize your chances of survival. And if you find yourself begrudging the absence of certain instructions, which if followed would have resulted in your demise, then I guess that makes two of us.

Otherwise, you're welcome.

But the fact appears to be that prototyping the Kernelsprite before making your getaway may offer the only opportunity to exercise control over your new environment, a place known as The Medium. Also, if prototyped with one (or two) sufficiently -- albeit loosely -- humanoid and/or sentient elements (living or otherwise), it offers the chance to have all this explained to you by an apparitional guide through whatever sort of cryptic, sketchy doublespeak your choice of prototyping elements engenders. In lieu of this, you may be forced to settle for my clear, thorough explanations and assiduous dissection of raw data.

Again, don't mention it.

If you have made it to The Medium with an unmolested Vanillasprite, well, I've already covered the bad news about this 'missed opportunity', and I will go into this further soon. Though to what extent this actually is bad news, I'm not sure. I know only the result of my co-player's current configuration, wherein the sprite was prototyped once before the departure, and once after. Which brings us to the good news, which is that you can still prototype after your departure, and salvage the massively rewarding experience of haggling with an exposition-slinging phantom guide, so long as you avoid prototyping with terribly inert items, such as a brass doorknocker and your father's pornography collection.

Actually, that might be interesting. If you are struck by the spirit of such experimentation, please don't hesitate to contact me about it.

So, yes, you can enhance your sprite in thsi way, but doing so after your departure will no longer induce this 'effect' on The Medium I alluded to. That can only be accomplished with one or more pre-departure prototypings. In fact, we can extrapolate there are only so many ways to prototype a sprite.

Tiers of prototyping in relation to departure: both before. One before, one after. Both after. Only one, either before or after. None.

Those occurring will affect the Medium through the kernel's 'hatching' process, and your guide, i.e. the sprite. Those occurring after will only affect the sprite.

The effects this process has on The Medium, or more globally, The Incipisphere, are still vague to me. They have to do with flavoring the forces you will struggle against, and generally, all forces at odds with each other in this realm. It has given me some insight into the nature of the game, which again I derive through extrapolation. We appear to be engaging an instance of a dimension with a highly flexible set parameters, and a series of objectives surrounding an equally flexible mythological framework. This framework seems to begin as a sort of blank template, and evolves with the players' actions, and likely further evolves with the addition of more host/client connections, and thus more prototyped kernels.

I regret to say I can't be much more specific than that, without loosely extrapolating furhter. There are plenty of questions that have occurred to me, however. Questions concerning the Kernelsprite, which I've raised implicity already, such as what is the effect of an un-prototyped kernel on The Medium? Or a doubly prototyped kernel, for that matter? And even more salient are questions about this dimension itself. Do all players world-wide make it to this dimension if they successfully complete their departure? Or is a unique 'blank' instance of the dimension created for each new player? I have no evidence, but instinct tells me it is closer to the latter situation. There is no indication of any other players present in this realm. Alterations in the realm seem singularly centered on the actions of my co-player and myself. If I had to stake anything on it, I would guess every separate client/server pair activates its own fresh copy of an Incipisphere, or a unique 'session', if you will.

But the quantity of players is a further complication which invites more questions. It seems the game was designed to suit two players most naturally, the server and the client. But through a mishap, my co-player and I have slipped out of the obvious tandem arrangement, and the only logical course of action to continue playing is to string a daisy-chain of server/client connections together, until presumably the chain is complete. Theoretically, we could complete this chain with only one other player, functioning as the server to my client, and the client to my current co-player's server (assuming he can recover it).

The strange thing is though, in our instance of this dimension, there are four receptacles for divided kernels, not three. Does this mean we are 'destined' to have a four player chain? How could the game 'know' such a thing?

Perhaps it does, and if this proves to be the case, I trust I will be sufficiently numbed to the realization.

The following text has been crossed out.

I can consider nothing about this game surprising at this point, and in fact from the first moments of play, it managed to deviate so far from my expectations that I completely forgot what my original purpose with it was. I had chances to test some information I obtained on good authority during the prototyping phases, but it completely slipped my mind. Instead, the game's catacombs securing the dark twisting paths to necromancy were blundered into rather on accident. But perhaps you don't need to know any of this.

Rethink organization? Lead may be waist deep logorrheic sludge. Trim down. Bleh

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FIX: "enhance your sprite in thsi way" -> "enhance your sprite in this way"; "Those occuring will" -> "Those occuring before will"; "extrapolating furhter" -> "extrapolating further"; "implicity" -> "implicitly"

as everyone else said, it's so interesting seeing the newgens. it's like growing our own fandom in a lab and watching the results!!!!!!!!! i rlly love the weird asf names they made for pepsicola (predave: jihk, postdave: strert??) and the speculation around eden. like, wdym gg is wv's demiurge. who the fuck is gringle gok.

Just been messing around with "Dave's Phat Beat Machine" on page 002238 - this is the first time I've ever seen that page functioning properly!