No, NO!!!!!!! You can't believe this. Ugh. This sucks, everything sucks right now!!!! You come to this beach to relax and try to temper your significant ANGER ISSUES. Living with a roommate who is a literal CLOWN and working as a BLACKJACK DEALER in a NANTUCKET CASINO where you have to deal with SNOBBY RICH IDIOTS all day is very taxing. It's enough to drive anyone up the wall, let alone a GRUMPY YOUNG ADULT with a SORDID PAST.
This bad news makes you want to chuck your phone into the sea like a businessman at the end of a hallmark movie who just realized his stereotypical nuclear family unit means more to him than his incredibly lucrative yet soul crushing office job. You don't have the kind of money to just go about buying new phones and you're very ADDICTED TO SOCIAL MEDIA so you just heave a clump of wet sand into the surf instead.
The wet plop makes you feel a little better.
As your anger dissipates the overwhelming dread of the life you've lived sits heavy on your shoulders. You flop down onto the sand, getting the coarse ground stone bits all in your hair and clothes as you let a frustrated yell up to the skies.
You need to do something different, change something. You want to break out of your routine of work, home, beam social media into your face until you fall asleep, and wake up for work again. You wish you had the willpower to go truly crazy like your old friends probably think you are. Lying here, desperately yearning for something new, you instead resort to something old. For the first time since your childhood, before you were disillusioned, you start praying.
Not to jesus or anything, you are almost certain you've burned that bridge a long time ago. You mentally cry out to any god or being out there, somewhere beyond your monotonous reality, for help. You know all the parables warn against this, or encourage caution about your wayward wishes, but you don't really care. If some demon possesses you you may as well just let them live your life at this point. The thought makes you laugh, as if they would agree to that deal. At this point, who would want to
>Be HANNAH REUBEN.
-KeCh
>HANNAH: Drink Sea Water.
You suddenly feel a strange burst of motivation! You are going to change things! You are going to be different! You're up and motivated and your first act with these new found actionable opportunities is to- drink sea water? You get up and squat down as a wave comes in you cup your sandy mitts together and scoop up some of that oceanic goodness.
==>
UGH! It's so salty and tastes horrible. You knew this already, you live on an island, why did you try to swallow seawater?? Now your mouth tastes overwhelmingly like salt.
-KeCh
==> Look around for something to help get rid of the taste. Anything.
> HANNAH: Look around for something to help get rid of the taste. Anything.
The beach is pretty much empty, it's just stretches of sand until the shrub line. You picked this beach for it's vacancy, and now it's doing you no favours. There's nothing for you to use to clean the taste out of your mouth, unless you...
>HANNAH: Eat Sand.
For some reason you are scooping sand up and are poised to insert it into your mouth? I wish there was some assumption you could make based on prior events to intuit what could possibly follow trying a stunt like this. You know the sand is soaked in salt water nigh constantly right??
==>
-KeCh
> quit eating non-edible things!!!! go out and get some real food.
> yeah... i'm thinking it's time to eat some fake food.
