Real official carapacian piss philosophy thread

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Saturday, August 30th, 2025, 0:42 PM19 days ago

(For those who are new to the topic (I'm making the thread just now but we've constantly been talking about it on the MSPFA server for over a month now) I feel the need to specify that is is not remotely meant to be NSFW (so don't make it), I just have the sense of humour of a 5 year old.)


Carapacian piss! Discuss.

Once upon a time (on the 24th of july of the year of our lord 2025) I brought up the fact that Jack Noir has canonically been stated to have a "magnificent [...] pissing radius" in the MSPFA server which sparked a conversation that would soon become a recurring topic. This is how it all started:


Great, awe-inspiring things have been said about the subject, such as:






Also recently we debated on a tier list of individual characters' pissing skills and this is what we all eventually decided to agree on for now:



Do YOU have anything to say on the subject of carapacian piss? Discuss. This is what the thread is for.


> INTERMISSION
Saturday, August 30th, 2025, 2:49 PM19 days ago

Piss Philosophy well im Pissed off at ye.

This post was a Magic Mirror production. Problem Soothe, now playing in a theater near you: https://magic-mirror.neocities.org/problemsoothe/ps0000


Magic Mirror
Saturday, August 30th, 2025, 11:24 PM19 days ago

but how well do leprechauns piss? 🤔

hello this is my signature10 ball

NinHenry
Sunday, August 31st, 2025, 4:26 AM18 days ago

@NinHenry


I feel that they just piss whereever the fuck they want, it seems like itd be in their nature.

fritz
Sunday, August 31st, 2025, 4:36 AM18 days ago

how are the girl characters better or worse at pissing?


I cant really see how skill would be involved unless theyre doing shit like this



fritz
Sunday, August 31st, 2025, 2:37 PM18 days ago

@ninhenry Hello leprechaun waste considerer. This is carapacian piss philosophy not leprechaun piss philosophy. Good question though.


> INTERMISSION
Sunday, August 31st, 2025, 2:38 PM18 days ago

@sirlywebmester agreed with your reply to the leprechaun piss question. my answer to YOUR question: Not sure but that visual is absolutely insane holy shit


> INTERMISSION
Sunday, August 31st, 2025, 5:45 PM18 days ago

how are the girl characters better or worse at pissing?


I cant really see how skill would be involved unless theyre doing shit like this


I mean. There is nothing in canon that says that Carapacian gender assignments have anything to do with whether or not you can pee standing up

Spades Slick is a butch lesbian 2k25

archivalAngel
Sunday, August 31st, 2025, 5:49 PM18 days ago

Wait why are bec noir and spades better at pissing than alpha jack

Spades Slick is a butch lesbian 2k25

archivalAngel
Sunday, August 31st, 2025, 6:25 PM18 days ago

@libraryseraph

in response to your first comment: TRUE!!!


in response to your second comment: okay so bascially at some point someone brought up the idea that prospitians are worse at pissing than dersites because and i quote "skaia fucks up their organs and piss-blocks them" and, well, the alpha kids' session's iteration of jack noir spent quite a while in a prospitian jail so based on that logic he would be worse at pissing than the others


> INTERMISSION
Sunday, August 31st, 2025, 6:43 PM18 days ago

Getting kidney stones from skaia...

Spades Slick is a butch lesbian 2k25

archivalAngel
Sunday, August 31st, 2025, 9:33 PM18 days ago

how would skaia "fuck up their organs and piss-block them?" does skaia have a particular grudge against prospitians and their pissing or what??



max :P
Monday, September 1st, 2025, 7:05 AM17 days ago

signs we're possibly running out of things to discuss about Homestuck on these forums </3 /j

Bloodstuck Advert, Read on AO3

elegantSpinstress
Monday, September 1st, 2025, 3:44 PM17 days ago

@goeticclowns I DON'T KNOW... i'm not the one who came up with the "skaia piss blocks them" theory i should ask the person who did.


> INTERMISSION
Monday, September 1st, 2025, 3:46 PM17 days ago

@elegantspinstress little do you know we started discussing this like a week before the forums launched ♥


> INTERMISSION
Friday, September 5th, 2025, 0:57 PM13 days ago

Also I realised I never wrote what general lore we agreed on in here...

So far what we have:

- As mentioned above, the whole "skaia piss-blocks prospitians (and people who go to prospit in general. does this include the players who dream there? either way that's irrelevant, this is carapacian piss philosophy, not sburb player piss philosophy)

- "What if they don't shit and instead everything they digest gets turned into piss"


> INTERMISSION
Monday, September 8th, 2025, 6:45 PM10 days ago


> INTERMISSION
Monday, September 8th, 2025, 6:55 PM10 days ago

wait how do carapacians even drink?? is there water on derse and propsit? we see rivers on the battlefield, but WHERE DO THEY GO ? THERE'S NO OCEAN. DO THEY DRINK IT ALL. IS THAT WHY THEY'RE THAT GOOD AT PISSING.

Nubert
Monday, September 8th, 2025, 6:58 PM10 days ago

WAIT I'M SO DUMB THE OCEANS ARE RIGHT HERE

Nubert
Monday, September 8th, 2025, 7:03 PM10 days ago

@mathr they ARE shown to very much be able to drink but, yeah, not sure where they get water on their home planets. we could say they source it from the battlefield but then that means they wouldn't have water at all until a certain amount of kernelsprites have been prototyped??


> INTERMISSION
Friday, September 12th, 2025, 7:50 PM6 days ago

hi guys. so i've been recently introduced to the carapacian piss philosophy, but i've made some major findings. i go more indepth in the mspfa discord, but here's what i got

- hearts boxcar traded the ability to pee in order to do that chomp. his kidneys are calcified

- jack noir has excellent pissing range, but poor aim. he has broken many a toilet over this.

- the leprechauns can't pee, but can shit. the shit is like little foam balls

- doc scratch CAN piss and shit though. but his little foam ball shits have blood inside. he needs a colonoscopy



Topic: Real official carapacian piss philosophy thread