So, there's this fanfiction called Herding Cats, in which Nepeta must matchmake all of her friends so that their love-based quadrants are all filled without overlap. Herding Cats only required Flush and Pale quadrants to be filled, but what if we take it a step further? Filling the their Pitch quadrants, and maybe even the ashen quadrants if you'd be so inclined (using only the members of the Alternia session).
My answers, for reference. I can explain my logic if needed, but real trollromancemaxxers can already understand it.
Tanuki, you (and probably eveyone else) know that I think the quadranted romance system is evil and deliberately set up as a tool to parallel evil social constructs on Earth. But I'm also a sucker for the more fanonized depictions of them and for trying to create a grid that maximizes pairings I enjoy, so here are my proposals.
FLUSH:
Aradia <3 Nepeta
Tavros <3 Gamzee
Karkat <3 Sollux
Feferi <3 Kanaya
Terezi <3 Vriska
Equius <3 Eridan
PALE:
Tavros <> Equius
Aradia <> Karkat
Kanaya <> Terezi
Sollux <> Nepeta
Eridan <> Gamzee
Feferi <> Vriska
BLACKROM:
Aradia <3< Terezi
Tavros <3< Eridan
Sollux <3< Equius
Karkat <3< Gamzee
Nepeta <3< Feferi
Kanaya <3< Vriska
ASHEN (this one will be a clusterfuck admittedly... but I wanted to see if I could make it work and I did!):
Aradia c3 Sollux c3 Eridan
Equius c3 Kanaya c3 Nepeta
Karkat c3 Vriska c3 Tavros
Feferi c3 Terezi c3 Gamzee
Love to hear your reasoning on your ashens, Tanuki!
Everybody needs to hear someone say “Nobody else will do. It has to be you", even if it's just once in their lives. As long as you can feel sure those words were sincere, you can live through anything, no matter how painful.
> @lonelyghosts
Who's to say that quadrants can't be evil power structures and a beautiful social system? Also let's be real even in a perfect world we're still creating a living hell for these characters.
Equius Auspisticizing for Kanaya is Devious, especially because he TOTALLY COULD.
So my ashens are:
Fef c3< AraQuius: Equius doesn't hate Aradia, but Aradia sure hates him. But not even in a good way, she just doesn't like him. But, Equius's stupid ass still is gonna try to get with her because his wannabe daddy dom ass is unable to listen to what a woman (or man) tells him. Also, those two couldn't work out even if they did hate each other. So, they need an auspistice. And who's Equius gonna listen to? Feferi. Because she's the highest cast there is, he'll maybe. finally shut up.
Kar c3< TaVris: You also have this one, so you get the idea. Tavris needs an auspistice for obvious reasons. And only Karkat could ever dream of mediating that hellhole (especially out of the pool of people not alr with tav/vris.
Nep c3< EriSol: I'm sorry, Erisol fans. But Sollux has rejected Eridan like 10 times in canon. He doesn't want him. Sorry chat. Unfortunately Eridan is down BAD and they need someone that can outbalance their bitter energies. Like Nepeta!
Kan c3< GamRezi: Gamzee and Terezi hate each other, but that doesn't mean they should get together. We all saw Act 6, that doesn't end well. Kanaya's neutral enough with these two to keep them from despising each other too much. She's kinda bad at confrontation, but she can at least say "Hey Gamzee Please Dont Call Terezi [5 HUNDRED ABLEIST SLURS]". Also Terezi and Kanaya can bond over their shared love of Vriska.
(btw I barely stopped myself from putting Vriska/Terezi w/ Gamzee.)