re:ricky
that shit u said was so awesome but im not at my words-best rn
-
y12k is so fucking good i feel like it is...some kinda salve on my frustrations when ppl talk about some kinda ideal Endgame wrt narratives and relationships and stuff idk it is not something i super relate to & i love playing w/ the constraints of what is relevant enough to a narrative to make compelling derivative art & temporally where do u want to place urself in relation to a text which leaves itself open-ended yknow where is it INTERESTING to do that and what ends do you want to in turn leave open! & i think it is p loaded to put forth as a happy end the idea of a person staying in a statically defined relationship or group of.

anyway i gotta let this percolate in my brain more but like wow im #thonking on gender idk i think a lot of my thoughts on gender have been cynical and reductive for far too long for a variety of material reasons but not insignificant is it is scary to me to voice how i feel about my own trans"masculinity" and the loadedness of that particular construction we have arrived at because perhaps orthogonal to what i want to say the language i'd think to use i have seen it over and over again be a platform to devalue and be hateful towards transgender women / transfems and this i cannot abide and ig i feel that i have been looking for something like y12k for far too long

it's weird i really did feel what roxy was saying about wearing binders to get toilet paper but i guess not really coz i don't relate to what he said about still being called "he" after giving up on that presentation because i have found it to be suffocating like i cannot get people to stop referring to me as a guy "he" etc even after explicitly asking for it to stop. & even when people stop calling me that stuff i get this disheartening feeling they think they understand all there is to me and all that i could be and it's like...its own nonbinary box or something...i think it has to do a lot w/ race and it has a lot to do w/ culture where it is considered preconfigured all the roles that one could fill and it is a matter of slotting people into the right ones so even their attempts to forge something new are subsumed into this worldview

idk if that made sense
hopefully it at least gives the impression i found valuable food for thought in reading this