>BLACK BISHOP A: Nominate the plucky BLACK PAWN B as your successor and step down from diocese.

The BLACK BISHOP A isn't planning on stepping down any time soon! But, it's always good to have a backup plan. The BLACK BISHOP A dictates that, in the event of its death or capture, the BLACK PAWN B is to be PROMOTED to BISHOP.

>Tall White Rook: Leverage voter apathy. Encourage black pawns not to vote because they will never be as tall or handsome as you.

The TALL WHITE ROOK steps up and starts beginning a speech, despite not being an approved candidate!

It tells the BLACK PAWNs to embrace apathy. PAWNS will never have the status, nor the HEIGHT, nor the abominable HANDSOMENESS ATTRIBUTE higher and whiter pieces possess. PAWN sentiment against HIGH-RANKING and WHITE pieces is at an all time high!

The BLACK ADJUDICATOR captures the TALL WHITE ROOK to shut it up.

The TALL WHITE ROOK is momentarily shocked before it gets its bearings. Oh, this must be the CAPTURELIFE, the AFTERLIFE that chess pieces get sent to when they get CAPTURED. That's pretty cool, the TALL WHITE ROOK always assumed it wasn't a real, physical location.

It used its HEIGHT POWERS to make a staircase leading back up to the surface! The SUMMONED PAWNS are displaced by the spell.

The TALL WHITE ROOK continues its tirade as if nothing happened! AND ANOTHER THING ABOUT PAWNS!