>WHITE KNIGHT B: Begin PASSIONATE SPEECH.

The CANDIDATE WHITE KNIGHT attempts to win favor with the black pieces with a message of equality. Both sides, it points out, start with the same pieces, only in different colors. There is no difference, it states, between a KNIGHT carved of WHITE marble and one carved of BLACK.

There is, however, a tangible difference between the TYPES of piece. PAWNS tend to be good at following orders, and often overestimate themselves. BISHOPS are born MAGIC USERS and ROOKS are great BUILDERs. And KNIGHTS, of course, are WARRIORS. Who, it asks, would the BLACK SIDE rather have running it: A piece with AUTHORITY, who can FIGHT FOR ITS PEOPLE, or an OVERAMBITIOUS UPSTART? If the BLACK SIDE elects a PAWN, there is no doubt pieces will begin to drop off the board like flies.

The BLACK PAWN B says no they wouldn't, and how dare the WHITE KNIGHT accuse it of that, and how much does the WHITE KNIGHT know?

It addresses the BLACK PAWNs in the crowd. Do they really want a leader who thinks so old-fashionedly, it asks? One who thinks PAWNS are incapable of great things merely due to their RANK? Do they think this piece deserves to lead simply because it was carved into a more ornate shape?

The pawns are whipped into a frenzy, even the SUMMONED PAWNS who by law have no autonomy. Support massively grows in the BLACK PAWN B's favor.

>WHITE PAWN A: Anger BLACK ADJUDICATOR by meddling with DEMOCRATIC PROCESS.

The CACTUS FARMER PAWN begins to speak with the WHITE APPRENTICE. Being both a WHITE PIECE and a PAWN, the APPRENTICE is the least qualified for the position- which is why the CACTUS FARMER PAWN wants to rig the election so it wins. That'll really get the ADJUDICATOR's goat.

It asks to speak to the APPRENTICE's CAMPAIGN MANAGER immediately. The APPRENTICE postpones its speech.

>Black Pawn C: Listen to I've Got Some Falling to Do by Lemon Demon.

The BLACK PAWN C approves of this submitter's music taste!

But the further down it gets, the spottier its PSYCHIC CONNECTION to the rest of the board becomes. The song is stuck buffering, and likely won't play until the whole thing has loaded.

>BLACK PAWN A: Change status to UNDEAD.

The BLACK PAWN A is having the same problem. Its status won't update nor will its posts go through. Seems like the further you fall, the worse your connection becomes.

>BLACK ROOK A: Travel into the future to see election results.

The FUTURE TIME-TRAVELLING ROOK appears to pull its PAST SELF further into the future.

The BLACK ROOK A asks it where it got all those augmentations, it doesn't look like any technology its ever seen. The BLACK ROOK A says it'll explain later. Both of them vanish into time.

It doesn't take the perspective with it, of course, so we don't get to see what the future is like, at least not until it actually happens. If we listened close, we could almost hear the BLACK ROOK A's shocked responses. Wow, THAT'S who won? It never would have guessed! WHAT happened to WHO? They found WHAT down there? SO MANY ANSWERS!

>Black Adjudicator: Evaluate current board position in UNFATHOMABLE TOME OF CHESS MIDGAMES to let the audience gain their bearings.

Of course, the BLACK ADJUDICATOR says. It has the book memorized, and knows the standard procedure for this point in a game, and will deliver it in RECAP format.

At this point. in this particular variant of chess, a number of SUBPLOTS will begin to emerge out of the chaos. Several of these SUBPLOTS are playing out across the board as we speak.

For instance, the recent TRANSITION of the BLACK KING into the BLACK QUEEN B, the first major event in this game's timeline. The BLACK ROYALTY had been working hard to perform the necessary ritual after the unlucky monarch was stranded atop a PILLAR by a WHITE ROOK. The TRANSITION was achieved after much tribulation, but as soon as it figures out how to get down safely it's going to enjoy BEING IN YURI with its wife.

Also interested in the BLACK QUEEN- or rather, BOTH BLACK QUEENs- is the WHITE QUEEN. It hopes to have both BLACK QUEENs as its wives or maybe its concubines, or perhaps vice versa. The minutiae don't really matter to it, what matters is that it wants to be together with them. Forever. Unfortunately its efforts to get in on that YURI ACTION are hindered by its COURT attempting their own petty power grabs.

But while treachery boils on the surface, unexpected CAMRADERIE is found below ground. A number of PIECES have found themselves stuck together on the pseudo-afterlife layer that CHESS PIECES go to when they get captured. Their interest in the events transpiring on the SURFACE has waned, and now they're busy digging out a HOLE to see what else lies beneath the board. Among them are a WHITE PAWN who initially discovered the second layer, the BLACK PAWN who was attempting to capture it at the time, a GREY KNIGHT exiled from both sides and captured by surprise, and a BLACK ROOK gifted the power of levitation by a RANDOM EVENT OF CHAOS.

Also below the board are two BLACK PAWNS- one who fell OVERBOARD after a tactical misstep, and one who was THROWN OVER as revenge after capturing the GREY KNIGHT. Both are stuck falling at different speeds into the presumably-infinite void the board extends into. Neither of them knows what lies below, and both are simply trying to pass the time.

Finally and most relevantly is the ELECTION. After the BLACK QUEEN B's transition left its side KINGLESS, measures were taken to ensure a new KING takes the throne. Currently running are a POWER-HUNGRY BLACK PAWN, a VIOLENT BLACK PAWN WITH A CRUSH ON THE GREY KNIGHT, an ELITIST WHITE KNIGHT, and the APPRENTICE to the white side's PREMIER CRIMINAL MASTERMIND.

Also running around are a ROOK FROM THE FUTURE abducting its past self for its own MYSTERIOUS ENDS, a DETECTIVE KNIGHT concerned with ORDER AND JUSTICE, a NEUTRAL CLOWN with REALITY-ALTERING POWERS, and a pair of ROOKS with domain over all things HEIGHT.

The ADJUDICATOR hopes this recap was sufficient. It's very busy, you know, managing the election and all? It's being very smug about it, and you kind of hope it GETS ITS JUST DESSERTS.