BLACK PAWN C: Play a CHESSBOOK GAME

WHITE KNIGHT A: Play a CHESSBOOK game.

Typically pieces higher-rank than a ROOK use BOARDSPACE, but CHESSBOOK is sort of a GUILTY PLEASURE for this KNIGHT.

It starts playing some sort of ONLINE CARD GAME with a user by the name of BLACK PAWN C. It doesn't really know the RULES. It feels like maybe there aren't any.

Oh, huh. Looks like this is a FARMING SIM. Or maybe it started out as just a simulation of a bunch of CARDS on a TABLE and it evolved FARMING SIM mechanics over time. BLACK PAWN C gets a head start on the HEART CROP while WHITE KNIGHT A figures out the controls.

BLACK PAWN A: Capture GREY KNIGHT

The GREY KNIGHT tells the BLACK PAWN B not to worry, it'll take care of this joker before you can say-

The GREY KNIGHT has been CAPTURED.

Nobody knows where PIECES go when they get CAPTURED. It's believed they DISAPPEAR to SOME OTHER PLANE, never to be seen again. That's another of BLACK PAWN B's romantic prospects lost to the unknown.

So it kind of LOSES IT.

It only realizes in hindsight that this may have been a little OVERBOARD.

It needs to get rid of the body.

Meanwhile, the GREY KNIGHT discovers where PIECES go when they get CAPTURED.

WHITE BISHOP A: Begin an ILLEGAL DRUG business, recruit a PAWN to help.

The WHITE BISHOP A is tired of its mediocre life. Standing next to the QUEEN is great and all, but it's not satisfying. Being such a high-ranking RELIGIOUS FIGURE isn't enough. It needs to really PROVE ITSELF.

It changes its name to the WHITE WARLOCK (W.W.) and dons a HAZMAT SUIT.

The PAWN in front of it, eager to follow a superior's directions, does the same. Now all they need to do is figure out how to MANUFACTURE ILLEGAL DRUGS without getting caught. Shouldn't be too difficult.