Oh god I've got to drive through like 6 different takes in 1 post.

I'll start with the broadest topic first: The Epilogues aren't bad on purpose. We know what Hussie writing bad on purpose is she did it like through a dozen different characters in Homestuck. They're not bad either but that's not something to prove or disprove.

The Homestuck Epilogues has a simple premise: What happens if Homestuck didn't end? The phrase "Dubiously Canon" has come to sever the webcomic from its own continuation (without the other way around). Problems arise, things get messy fast, and some characters start dissolving directly into the medium. No that that Medium.

The perils of the Epilogues are also the price of victory. The Epilogues begin in media res: Oedipus has saved the city; now we wait for the punchline. SBURB is supposed to see its player mature over the course of a healthy session. With how much cheating and rushing was needed to survive, the lessons for kids that remained unlearned hurt twice as much. The traits that kept you alive in a traumatic situation only start problems in times where there aren't any.

No matter how hard you try to cleave the two, Meat and Candy remain inseparable in weird ways. Events run perpendicular to each other. The narrative is played with in similar yet distinct ways across both timelines. But more than that, the presence of Candy is in the Meat (and vice-versa). Some of the dumbest, most shipper-induced shit happens in Meat. John leaves so Roxy and Calliope can be alone. Dirk mind-controls a lesbian couple so he ends up with the girl. At the same time, groundbreaking character development and plot-relevant discussions happen in Candy. I'll be honest, I found John dancing with Jake sweet. John reconciling with Roxy brought me to tears.

And ffs, Jade isn't half as bad as other characters describe her. That's what misogyny looks like; call her a whore for actually going on dates and take offense when she retaliates. Some people would rather say Hussie hates women than consider that maybe Karkat and Dave have weird ideas on women they never actually addressed.