Hello hello! I dug up some of my own, so here goes :

docscratch : I knew you'd go for this one. Do try to live up to the name, hm?

itchy : You suddenly feel your browser run faster.

doze : You suddenly felt your device start lagging.

trace : You suddenly felt your browser history being rifled through...

clover : DOO DEE DOO DEE DOO DOO (x2)

fin : You suddenly felt as if your browser history will be rifled through... later...?

die : You suddenly feel as if somehow, somewhere, you were quite dead a few moments ago.

crowbar : You suddenly felt the whole world got a bit dumber. You certainly didn't get any smarter.

snowman : You suddenly felt the whole world beating in your chest. The newfound power in your heart immediately went to your head.

stitch : No respect for an honest, working man in this line of business.

sawbuck : Don't stub your toe.

matchsticks : Your smoke alarm is going off.

eggs : No duplicate accounts! Please, god, no duplicate accounts.

biscuits : Did you leave your oven on?

quarters : He was so flattered you remembered he existed that he forgot to make a quirky coin flipping quip.

cans : OH YEAH! (which i entirely expected myself.)

jack : There's only one of you, and that's you, but if some schmuck wants to take the heat off you by playing patsy? That's fine by you.

jacknoir : Take the stupid fuckin' hat while you're at it. (she's in this thread, actually! hello!)

spadesslick : Take the stylish fuckin' hat while you're at it.

becnoir : What do they think you are, some kind of mutt? Sounds to you like they're barking up the wrong tree.

diamondsdroog : A smooth name. If you think you can handle it.

draconiandignitary : Yeah, yeah. They don't pay you enough to care about this sort of thing.

courtyarddroll : How delightful! (meeee.)

clubsdeuce : Everybody look out!

heartsboxcars : YOU HATE FORUM USERS YOU HATE FORUM USERS YOU HATE FORUM USERS

hegemonicbrute : You got the sudden feeling your life don't exactly matter.